Well, I'll tell you a story, that happened to me,
One day as I went out, to Tillek by the sea.
The day it was hot, the sun it was warm,
Says I "A quick pint, wouldn't do any harm."
I went in and called, for a bottle of stout,
Says the barman,"I'm sorry, the beer's all sold out!
Try whiskey, young Regex, ten years in the wood,"
Says I, "I'll have cider; I've heard that it's good."
Oh never, oh never, oh never again,
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten!
Well I fell to the ground, and I couldn't get up,
After drinking the quart, of the Johnny-Jump-Up!
After leavin' the third, I came out by the 'yard,
Where I walked into Brophy, the burly Hold guard;
"Come 'ere to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?"
I upped with me fist, and I shattered his jaw.
Well he fell to the ground, with his knees doubled up,
'Twas not I that hit him, but Johnny Jump-Up!
So I ran to the docks, at Tillek on the sea,
Where a sailor on crutches, calls out loud to me:
"I'm afraid that I'll be hit, by another damn 'spar,
Won't you help me to, the Rusted Hulk's bar?"
But after drinkin' a quart, of the cider so sweet,
He threw down his crutches, and danced in the street!
Well, I went down to welcome, a friend home from sea,
His ship was unloading, but no friend did I see!
Many stories were told, but the truth I will tell,
They had the poor bugger, locked up in a cell.
Said the guard, testing him, "Say these word if you
can:
'Around the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran."
"Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad
'Twas only one sup, of the bottle I had.
A man keeled over, by the name of McNabb,
They washed him, and laid him outside on a slab.
We thought he was dead, that he wasn't a fake,
So his wife took him home for a bloody fine wake!
Well, it was close to midnight, and the beer it was high,
The corpse he sits up and says he with a sigh,
"Well, that didn't work, so fill up me cup
I'll be needing a quart, of that Johnny Jump-Up!
Oh never, oh never, oh never again,
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten!
Well I fell to the ground, and I couldn't get up,
After drinking the quart, of the Johnny-Jump-Up!
